"Deviant Love"


The hatred began slowly with political rants of bigotry. It spread like a virus through small communities until it worked its way up into the mainstream. Avalon was once a tolerant accepting, and affluent planet until the world government took control of society. The totalitarian government molded people’s thoughts into whatever served their agenda, and hatred was the new agenda.

I wondered how these hate-filled bureaucrats were able to take over a society once filled with peace and acceptance. First the changes were subtle; people were protesting our right to live together as couples. Violence was a mere nightmare aware. It became common to degrade our lifestyle and make obscene jokes about it. People used words like deviant or pervert to describe the men who were part of our "alternative" culture. Women were called names like whore or slut.

Soon, people were boycotting businesses run by the alternative culture. We lost our financially stability. No one would hire us. They singled us out based on our mannerisms, the way we dressed and the sound of voices. They used stereotypes to brand our sexual orientation. We lost our homes, and were out on the streets. At least we still had our love. We called ourselves the banished ones, and formed common bonds based on our “degenerative” nature. We had hopes that we would rebuild a community together somewhere secret that the authorities would never uncover. We set up tents on the outskirts of the city, and that lasted about a year.

Soon, our dreams were crushed by the riots that plagued the streets. Ordinary people grew violent and bloodthirsty. They started throwing rocks at us, and kidnapping people in their sleep. Another one of us would disappear just about every day. I was thankful for every day I got to spend with my partner. The missing people never returned and some were hung in the streets as sexual deviants.

I relished the days I could spend with my love. Despite the disparity, when I looked into my partners eyes I felt at peace. They reflected an endless ocean of love that many people would never even begin to experience. In those eyes were all the happy times, all the agony, and the struggle we had to go through just to stay together. We gave up our lives just to be together because living without one another was not life, but hollow death. I was content to live each day as it was my last. Every second spent with my partner was worth every breath.

It was a dreary winter day when I awoke in the cell. They must have captured me while I was sleeping. I had always wondered when this day would come, and now it had arrived. I knew I would never see my partner again, and that mentioning my love would guarantee ultimate torture. The guards spit on me when they noticed my eyes had opened.

They called me vicious names and told me I was going to freeze for all eternity in the ice of Whisteria as punishment for my deviant lifestyle. They proclaimed that I would be left to rot in this prison, and that soon I would be on my way to the path of eternal icicles and torment. Sometimes they would come in and beat me for no reason, claiming it would beat the deviant out of my body.

In my solitude I had grown more introspective. I often wondered out loud if there was a place where I would be accepted. I didn’t choose the body I was born into, and I didn’t choose to be attracted to my partner. My fatal mistake was falling in love with another human being. That was all I had to do to get locked away in this putrid and diseased prison. The guards treated me as if I were some kind of monstrosity that needed to be disposed of in order to sanctify the morals of society.

There were thousands of others in this prison too. Once I imagined a fleeting glimpse of my partner, but it ended up being a mere ghost in my memory. I think sometimes when you are desperate, you can see things just because you want them to be there. I wondered how many others were experiencing these desperate visions. We were not allowed to speak or we would be lashed with a wet leather strap the guards sadistically threatened us with. I wondered how the government could afford solitary confinement cages for each one of us. I suppose in a way it was better than being claustrophobically placed in a cage with fifteen others, but in its own way it caused even more mental anguish. The thoughts never stopped rambling and the loss inside never ceased.

I did have my cherished memories of love that did nothing to comfort me. I knew my partner was probably dead. They killed most of the men, and the guards were hoping the women would eventually conform to society by torture. I could force myself to be with another woman, start a family, and blend in with society, but I wanted no part in it. I could not live life suppressing who I really was. I also knew without a doubt, there would be a glimmer in my eye if I saw an attractive man, and then they would throw me right back in this lousy prison. I was going to die in here. I didn’t care because they had taken away my desire to live.

I never pushed my feelings about who I loved on anyone else. I honestly didn’t know what the big deal was. Why couldn’t two people that love each other be together? Wasn’t love enough? I was not immoral or promiscuous. My only crime was who I loved. I wondered if there was a world out there somewhere where it is not a crime for a woman to love a man.

If there was, it definitely wasn’t here. I remember feeling suicidal as a teenager the first time I realized I was attracted to men. Now I was suicidal because I was living in a world with no hope for happiness. I looked hungrily at the blanket in the corner of the cell. I looked for a place to tie it so I could be done with this poor excuse for a life. I had already lost my family; they disowned me when they found out my secret, and Joe was probably hung in the street the night I was kidnapped.

If there was a god up there somewhere, I doubt he or she would freeze someone in the depths of Whisteria for all of eternity just for loving another person. No, doubt if anyone was set to freeze it was these people who lacked compassion and understanding for their fellow humans. I tied the blanket to the highest bar on the cell and wrapped it around my neck. I whispered, “I love you Joe,” as I slowly waited to fade into darkness.





©2008 Pisces Halcyon